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Monday, April 1, 2013

April Fool's News

Some things you can't make up. Like how mainstream media had a field day with Justin Bieber's monkey being detained at the airport. Should have been an April Fool's joke. Wasn't. We really didn't care, either way.

In other news...

Webster's and Funk & Wagnall's are adding a new definition:
Perfect Pitch -- What happens when the banjo clears the sides of the dumpster and lands squarely on the accordion.

Okay, the hate mail is on the way... trenches already dug. Incoming!

The Guide's regular readers know we have taken issue with Google for its universal spyware, used to track everything you do and compile it into a cyber dossier on you, for sale to anyone who wants to buy it. And that's no fooling.

Still, there are two sides to Google and other web giants -- the mercenary exploitive business cutthroats who would sell grandma, and the clever creative types they want us to see. On April Fool's Day, we'll look at the latter. Feel free to read all you want into that.

Today's annual day of hijinks, practical jokes and spoofs included Google's announcement of the launch of "Google Nose," to allow users to search for smells -- all kinds of smells, including "wet dog" and "horse manure." Google announced it would shut-down YouTube to launch the scent-based search engine.

Meanwhile, the jokesters at YouTube claimed they were shutting-down so they would have the time and resources available to determine "the greatest video ever uploaded."

There's more. The G-people revealed that Google Maps is adding a "treasure map mode" to help you find the hidden treasure of pirate Captain Kidd. (Hey, you can run the magnetic strip on credit cards with your phone, so why not a detector for buried gold and silver, linked to gps?)

On Facebook, Karen Nash's page reported, "Any posts of Bob Seger's songs, even links from other sites, will result in a 12 hour suspension of service. We are sorry for any inconvenience, but Mr. Zuckerberg's father is a huge Bob Seger fan and tortured him when he was growing up by playing Bob Seger non-stop. While this might seem unfair, Facebook is free and threatening to sue us will get you nowhere."

The April Fools Day pranks got an early start on Sunday, when Google Analytics users saw web traffic from the International Space Station. The number of astronauts aboard the ISS who were simultaneously viewing a user’s page suddenly totaled 41. That's 4-1, representing April 1.

That's an attempt to mine comedy from the disgraceful collapse of the space program (more of the damage inflicted in the name of budget austerity and cutbacks): the ISS holds a maximum of a half-dozen or so astronauts and cosmonauts at any one time, and since the end of Space Shuttle flights, there's no way to get more than three people there or back.

But we don't want to leave you on a serious note today. So we'll cite the national April Fool's joke that runs all year: Congress.

Add YOUR favorite April Fool's News in our reader comments (just below) to share with others.


Contents copyright (c) 2013, Lawrence Wines and Tied to the Tracks. All rights reserved.


The Acoustic Americana Music Guide's LIVE MUSIC EVENTS section, published last Friday, covers events into this week (and way beyond), with info on festivals, concerts, club gigs, performance-interview sessions you can attend, coffee house music, club gigs, house concerts, showcases, open mics, workshops for artists, and plenty more. It's available just below, or in the sidebar at left, depending on where you're reading this...

More soon, as always.


Anonymous said...

Thought you people LIKED banjo. If you didn't have the banjo art picture up now, us pickers and grinners would have to act offended.

Anonymous said...

It isnt the bieber monkey that is the joke. Its the very idea that he can sing. With all that computer alteration you dont even know if that is a human voice. - Sue

Anonymous said...

You're a politically astute individual yet u missed the gag on! Check it out.

Anonymous said...

Landed on the accordion? Assaulted by a banjo! Poor accordion! Michelle

Anonymous said...

Totally concur that best (worst) April Fool joke IS Congress. They are so pathetic and won't even cut their own big salaries for their part time jobs (they're always off, traveling at our expense) and they did'nt cut their big office budgets either when they are forcing cuts on things the rest of us need. We are the fools for not kicking all of them out!!!

Anonymous said...

Clever how you talk about google's april fool pranks so you can rip them a new one over their spying on everyone to make more and more and more $. What you said about that is true and I cannot figure why the whole news media was never all over it.

Anonymous said...

I got pranked for April Fool's. My gf replaced my nylon guitar strings with various gauges of fishing line. It looked totally fine until the first touch, as long as the light was dim. In bright light the strings look rather blue. Funny, gotta give her credit. Next year, babe...